Year ender post ahead: Most of the time, it seems like life just goes by too fast. In a blink of an eye, your childhood is somewhere floating amongst the sea of responsibilities, burdens, challenges, and everything you basically experience once you step into adulthood. But there are also times—like right now, where you remember random little moments in your life that never crossed your mind before. It is then when you realize that you've actually been living in this world for quite some time already. This decade was a decade of firsts for me and everyone my age. It was the most crucial years of our lives. We stepped in as clueless middle school kids, and now we step out as grown ups. I have learned so much about myself the past 10 years. I made countless mistakes, experienced love, heartbreak, loss, grief, failure, and success. I delibaretly jumped off cliffs a hundred times for its thrill, and went above and beyond for the sake of discovering who i am a little bit more. I have always been very spontaneous and impulsive. I don't mind getting myself into situations barely prepared. That was what life was about for me—just taking every risk. The unknown and its uncertainty has always presented itself as a fairytale with a happy ending eventually. But ironically on the other hand, i also longed and chased for certainty. Certainty in the world, people, and what they can offer, which has brought so much anxiety and self doubt throughout the years. I have always wanted to be sure about people in my life, and i never wanted anything else but for them to be sure about me. But now, as we close this chapter and step into 2020, i will no longer chase certainty—but i will rather embrace uncertainty. No longer because of its thrill, but because i am certain of one thing. God is with me. He has always been. He has never left. He has written every detail of my life, every low, and every milestone. It shouldn't matter how much success i will attain, but rather how will i live my life aligned with His purpose for me. R
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